Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.