You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.