you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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