Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize