did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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