I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just found out that she named her cat after me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
