I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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