what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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Semen is not good for contacts.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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