No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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