I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
