You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
