you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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