I am puke
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Four minutes until I can fart!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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