Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
