We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
