i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
