I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
