I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
