Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
