Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
