i think my tv is drunk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
