Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
