Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
