so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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