Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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