I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
