i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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