im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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