You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
