I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
