"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.