My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.