a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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