Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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