Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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