will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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