I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
