so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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