I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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