I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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