They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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