Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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