You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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