I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
