Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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