Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL