I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
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She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!