pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.