Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
as a side note pls kill me