Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.