Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
