dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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