if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
