just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize