is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
