:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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