singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
