Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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