I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
