wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
