Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize