Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
