Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think I just sharted jello shots
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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